In Which I Shit My Pants

In case you've ever thought to yourself "I should really spend an entire day feeling really awful, and crapping my face off," have I got a plan for you!!

Let me introduce you to my companions for today's Gynaecological Bowel Prep.   Three "Comfort Tip*" enemas, two satchels of oddly tasty Pico Salate, Ducolax tablets and a bonus Resstor-a-lax drink mix to chase it all down.

So today, I will spend the day drinking clear liquids, reading a good book, watching a lot of my favourite YouTubers and stressing about tomorrow's surgery.

If any of you are doing this delightful regime, here are a few things you should know (prepare for us to get to know each other really well):
- The Pico actually tastes fine.  Given that it's job is to induce violent diarrhoea, it's pretty okay.
- The enemas? They aren't that easy to self-administer, and the bottle never really properly empties. Don't stress out, you'll still get enough to do the trick.
- The Pico takes a few hours to kick in, you'll get overconfident and think about going outside, or cleaning, or doing things. DON'T DO IT,  THIS IS A TRICK. Stay home. Trust me.

Cross your fingers for tomorrow, spare me a good thought if you've got one to spare. It HAS to be good news tomorrow...

*HAHAHAHAHAHA.. Comfort tip is .. well, in an effort not to mince words, that's a load of crap.